What to Know About Relationship Boundaries

โ€œWhen you set boundaries, youโ€™re not limiting or withholding your love; youโ€™re actually preserving your energy so you can give more.โ€ In every way. Boundaries. They sound so unsexy, but your relationship will neither function nor last without them. Whatโ€™s more, you need them in every area of your life, not just in the bedroom. In this article, I discuss them further and what really matters when setting them but below, you will find a couple of key takeaways.

Know Yourself 

โ€œGive yourself permission to take a step back and recalibrate,โ€ says Jessica. โ€œYou have a responsibility to yourself to know your emotional triggers and tolerancesโ€”itโ€™s not always your partnerโ€™s responsibility to recognize these, even though we want them to know us as intimately as we know ourselves. Nor can you hold them responsible for the way you feel.โ€

Know When to Quit

โ€œItโ€™s normal to test boundaries, to be playful and tease someone youโ€™re close to,โ€ says Jessica. โ€œWe like to know how much we can get away with, but itโ€™s a red flag if someone keeps trying to violate your boundaries. This can be a sign of controlling behaviour, as if theyโ€™re trying to wear you down emotionally and assert their power over you.โ€ If someone repeatedly dismisses your boundaries, then you need to dismiss that person. โ€œSome people want the benefits of a relationship without wanting to put in the work required. They like the idea of taking but give nothing in return. Yet a relationship should ebb and flow with both of you taking it in turns to give and receive.โ€  This means you not only love and support each other, but you love and support yourself too. โ€œIf someone isnโ€™t willing to accept your boundaries, theyโ€™re not in it for the long run. Donโ€™t be worried that youโ€™ll scare someone off by stating your needs since anyone you lose by speaking your truth wasnโ€™t yours in the first place.โ€

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